designed from Veli Rehanne from Canva.
For those who leave and return, it feels like meeting a stranger, the person who left is no longer there and the place just another unfamiliar stop along the way.
At a certain point in the life of a person who has built a reality abroad, a realization comes that is like a crash. It doesn’t happen the moment she steps off the plane, or when she starts using a language she knows again; it can happen all of a sudden or grow slowly. It happened to her in a bar, one of those new, beautiful ones, surrounded by those she considers friends. Suddenly, she realized that the place she thought of as home was unfamiliar to her, and that same place barely recognized her. The atmosphere is no longer the same, conversations no longer reflect her as they once did, and she realizes that something in her has changed; she has changed. She opens Google and discovers that what she is feeling is called reverse culture shock, no longer what she felt when she arrived in a new country, but something much quieter, less familiar, and deeper.
As identified by the University of Kansas, research shows that 70% of students find themselves facing moments of moderate or severe difficulty in adapting to a place from their past. Everyone talks about homesickness, the courage to leave, cultural shock, but the reverse journey often remains in the shadows.
The question everyone asks her is whether she has changed or the place has changed, but the question is wrong. She explains that the answer is both, but the two changes have not moved in tandem but rather in opposite directions. They are like two tracks that start from the same station but run parallel to infinity. If they have intersected or even joined for a moment, it will be very difficult for them to connect along the way.
When she returns home, in addition to the usual, she finds new versions of herself, new ideals, new values, new habits and a language that sometimes thinks faster than another. At the same time, the place she had called home for years had not stood still, it had continued to live without her, and when they came face to face, neither of them found the values and points of reference they recognized in each other. The place had changed its face; where there had been a shop she loved, there was now just another bar; the streets had changed their names, the buildings their colors. The image she cherished of her homeland is frozen in time on the day she boarded that plane.
Often, in the person who leaves and those around them, what could be called a mirror effect can be triggered. While those who stayed behind expect to find the person who left, the person who returns finds the place and the people just as she left them.
The references that both recognized have disappeared, and while one party has remained unchanged, the other has moved on, creating an unintended gap caused by time and distance.
This is not a matter of heightened emotion or nostalgia. In a study published by Alfred Presbitero in the International Journal of Intercultural Relations in 2016, the researcher demonstrated how reverse cultural shock is significantly associated with psychological and sociocultural balance in students returning to their home countries. This evidence was supported by Alexia Finney’s words for the Baylor Lariat, where many students returning from programs abroad describe the transition as destabilizing, experiencing feelings of isolation or distance once they return. This made her realize that she was not the only one who no longer recognized herself in the place where she was born and raised. She had simply found, like so many other people, a new place to call home.
Over the days, she began to wonder if home could be something other than a physical place, no longer just an origin but a direction. However, not everyone experiences the same emotions when returning to their country. Giuseppe Bonaiuti, Italian tennis player and senior business major, describes returning home as the moment when everything in his head becomes clear. “Whenever I’m back in Rome, everything inside me slows down and makes sense,” said Bonaiuti. Nevertheless, most people do not feel a sense of comfort but rather a sense of bewilderment in a place that has always been called home but has become unfamiliar.
It is argued that reverse culture shock is only a transitional phase, a period of adjustment that occurred in the same way at the time of departure. It is believed to be easily overcome with good will, but if, like her, you left home at 16 and lived in five cities and two different continents, change cannot happen in the blink of an eye. Different cultures, traditions, and languages have led her to open her mind, broaden her horizons, and believe that dreams can come true. Now, perhaps, it is too late to go back. It is no longer a matter of readjusting; she can no longer settle for less and realize that the person who left that place seven years ago probably no longer exists.
Some researchers suggest that reverse culture shock is not a significant psychological problem, but rather a choice that individuals make, creating a gap between expectations and experience. A study published by Nicholas Geeraert for Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being emphasizes that if an individual’s return home does not meet their expectations, a temporary decline in psychological well-being ensues. Consequently, a positive approach at the outset would suppress this effect, which is considered transitory and linked to anticipation of the environment itself.
This is precisely the certainty of Aurora Gobbi, an Italian senior student who will graduate in exercise science in May. “Home to me is good food and happy time with my family,” said Gobbi. “I know for a fact that once I get back it will feel like I’ve never left.” This sincere conviction, expressed from an ocean away from home, could become more fragile once she walks through the door of what she has called home.
Those who left everything they knew behind at the age of 16, who have experienced different realities, cultures, and worlds, know that certainty is just an illusory luxury that time in the shadows erodes. Reverse culture shock is not simply a poorly managed expectation, it is a reality that we should consider with the appropriate weight. It is an inevitable, almost certain transformation that should find the right support in the community of reference.
The emotional and psychological discomfort of reverse culture shock should be taken more seriously and considered by universities and communities. It is a silent crisis that most students experience and, with the right support, could overcome with less suffering. Although she believes it is impossible to return to her past life, life is like a book that must be leafed through. Support from university institutions, with counseling services or groups of people experiencing the same emotions, could be the right way to find some peace between her past and present selves.
Because in the end she understood that home can be both a place and an ideal. As the days passed, she realized that the place she had always called home was the one that brought her back to her roots and her family. The home she wanted was far from her homeland, where dreams were not mere illusions but concrete realities. While reading, she found herself living in a quote by the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, who said, “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”
